Welcome to Toddler Land

There are lots of ways to know that you are officially a naturalized citizen of Toddler Land:

You can quickly and easily fall asleep in the toddler bed and wake up to find that the toddler has sneaked out and is now in your bed...

The toddler just sitting on the big girl potty is enough to elicit shrieks of excitement. And doing the actual deed is cause for some serious (and literal) song and dance...

You don't care that the toddler is eating fuzz... again. After all, it always comes out...

The poopy diapers are awfully similar to, well, you know... the real thing (with fuzz).

While the toddler is screaming "It sucks! It sucks!" you understand that something is stuck and she needs your help getting it freed, which happens much more frequently than you ever realized.

Out in public the toddler is yelling how "it sucks" (old ladies and disapproving mothers shaking their heads in disdain) and you can't help but agree as you help to dislodge the "babydog" from some inner workings of the stroller.

Forgetting when your last shower was is normal and shaving one leg dulls a razor completely. Who cares, anyway?

And finally, your college degree means nothing. Case in point- after getting dressed and heading to the local Publix, you fish what you think is a dryer sheet out of your pants leg while walking into the store, intending to stick it in your pocket. Unfortunately, a dryer sheet it is not. Instead, it is yesterday's panties. You make a quick retreat to the car.



Welcome to Toddler Land. Check your brain at the door.

Jesus Bubble Juice

I think that if I knew how difficult raising a two year old was, I might have decided that I wasn't designed to be a parent. Piggy is quite a determined little girl and sometimes I have to show her the boundaries so that she knows she isn't running this show. We had a nice tantrum out at the birth center where I have my store today, and my patience and parenting was tested to the extreme, but she finally relented and picked up her toys- the cause of the ensuing battle. It was a silly test, really. I had picked up after her like 784 times already that day and she normally listens and obeys, if not happily at least quickly. BUT not yesterday. Yesterday when I handed her the chicken to put back in the basket she threw it down and flung herself on the floor kicking and screaming for "AMY!!!!" (She is one of the midwives at the birth center, who was in the other room.) Now, you have to know this kid to understand how funny her calling for Amy was. Piggy won't go to anyone except me, her dad, and my mom. She just allowed my dad to hold her for the first time this week (first time, that is, since she's been able to choose who is allowed and who isn't). Sunday School is a horrendous time each week because there are two men in the class with their wives, but I digress. So, we had a showdown yesterday at the birth center. I stood my ground and after about 20 minutes, she finally picked up the toys.
But as horrible as that tantrum was, it was sort of all worth it because on our way home she started singing. "Yes, Jesus bubble juice! Yes, Jesus bubble juice. Yes, Jesus bubble juice. Da Biba me so..." At first I was confused about what she was singing and then I realized she was singing Jesus Loves Me. I turned around and was amazed at how her demeanor had changed. She wasn't a stinky, tantrum-y, two year old but instead had transformed to the sweet angel that I wake up to each morning... "Honey, it's 'loves you,' not 'bubble juice', and I 'bubble juice' too."