Friday, August 28, 2009

Welcome to Toddler Land

There are lots of ways to know that you are officially a naturalized citizen of Toddler Land:

You can quickly and easily fall asleep in the toddler bed and wake up to find that the toddler has sneaked out and is now in your bed...

The toddler just sitting on the big girl potty is enough to elicit shrieks of excitement. And doing the actual deed is cause for some serious (and literal) song and dance...

You don't care that the toddler is eating fuzz... again. After all, it always comes out...

The poopy diapers are awfully similar to, well, you know... the real thing (with fuzz).

While the toddler is screaming "It sucks! It sucks!" you understand that something is stuck and she needs your help getting it freed, which happens much more frequently than you ever realized.

Out in public the toddler is yelling how "it sucks" (old ladies and disapproving mothers shaking their heads in disdain) and you can't help but agree as you help to dislodge the "babydog" from some inner workings of the stroller.

Forgetting when your last shower was is normal and shaving one leg dulls a razor completely. Who cares, anyway?

And finally, your college degree means nothing. Case in point- after getting dressed and heading to the local Publix, you fish what you think is a dryer sheet out of your pants leg while walking into the store, intending to stick it in your pocket. Unfortunately, a dryer sheet it is not. Instead, it is yesterday's panties. You make a quick retreat to the car.

Welcome to Toddler Land. Check your brain at the door.


  1. Love it! Yes, and the last one has happened to me too. LOL!

  2. ROTFL That was very well written (very witty).

  3. That last one had me rolling! Love it! Peanut shrieks "HELP ME!" when she gets stuck. I think I'll count my blessings.